Travelling with children: emergency card and a plan for separation

When parents and child search for each other and both keep moving, they easily miss each other – like two people looking for each other in a supermarket, walking in circles round the same shelves. If one of them stays in a fixed place, only one has to search. That is why the basic rule for the child is: stay where you are or go to the agreed meeting point, do not wander around.

Staff and security can do things parents cannot: they know the site, often have radios, can alert the exits and make announcements. To search effectively they need a good description. Under stress many parents cannot remember exactly what their child was wearing today – a photo taken that morning answers the question in seconds.

The card in the child's pocket is the bridge back. A child may be upset, crying or have forgotten the number. If they show the card, the helper can call the parents directly. This works even if the child does not speak the local language.

The card should carry the first name, a parent's phone number with the country code (for example +49 for Germany or +44 for the UK), important allergies or conditions and the lodging. The country code matters because a helper abroad would otherwise dial the wrong number. Make sure the number really works in the destination country and that the phone stays switched on and charged.

The card belongs in an inside pocket, not visible on the outside of a jacket or backpack. A name that everyone can read can help a stranger address the child by name and seem familiar. For small children a wristband with the number written on the inside can be practical.

The meeting point must be fixed and clearly visible: an information desk, a large sign, a particular entrance. Anything that moves or appears more than once is unsuitable, such as “by the red bus” or “by the ice-cream van”. Show the child the meeting point in person instead of only describing it, and repeat this at every new place.

Children learn rules like these best through play and without fear. Ask at breakfast: “What do you do if you can't see us any more?” and let the child answer. Praise the right answer instead of telling scary stories. A calm tone shows the child: getting lost can happen, and we know what to do then.

Practise showing the card to someone once, for example a familiar person who plays along. Older children memorise a parent's phone number and say it out loud – including the country code. Having said it aloud a few times makes it easier to remember in an exciting situation.

The second half of the rule matters too: do not go off with anyone, but stay where help was found. Helpers can call the parents or make an announcement; the child does not need to go anywhere for that. A short recap each day is enough – long lectures are not needed.

As soon as you notice a child is missing, split up: one adult stays at the last known place or the meeting point, the other goes straight to staff, security or the police. Show the morning photo and give age, height and anything distinctive. The earlier an organised search starts, the better.

If the child is not found quickly, call the local emergency number (112 in the EU). Searching alone for a long time wastes valuable time. If there is any sign that the child has been taken, this plan no longer applies: alert the police immediately.

When you are back together, stay calm and do not scold. The child should have the courage to look for help again next time and to tell you what happened. Later, talk together about what went well and what you want to improve in the plan.

At airports families easily get separated at security or around toilets and shops. On a beach, umbrellas and loungers all look the same from a distance, and a child often comes out of the water at a different spot from where they went in. At festivals and markets crowds quickly push families apart.

The same plan helps in all these situations: set and show a meeting point on arrival, take a photo, put the card in the pocket. In an evacuation, for example from a hotel or during a storm, the same principles apply, just with more time pressure. That is when it is especially valuable that the child already knows the rule.

The plan does not replace supervision. In crowds, near water and near roads small children belong within reach or holding your hand. The card and the meeting point are the safety net for the moment when something goes wrong anyway.