The weeks after an event: normal reactions and self-help

In danger the body switches to emergency mode: stress hormones are released, the heart beats faster, attention narrows and focuses entirely on the threat. That makes sense, because it helps you react quickly. After the event, however, this system does not shut down straight away. The brain keeps checking whether the danger is coming back – that is why many people are jumpy, tense or sleep badly.

Recurring pictures and thoughts are often part of it too. The brain tries to make sense of what happened and keeps bringing it back up to do so. Other people feel empty, numb or “not quite there”. Others again are sad, angry, exhausted or find it hard to concentrate. Physical complaints such as headaches or an upset stomach also occur.

Not everyone reacts the same way, and not everyone reacts straight away. Some only notice days later how much the event has affected them, often when daily life calms down again. None of these reactions is a sign of weakness. They show that a person has been through something distressing.

The body is the foundation. Eating and drinking regularly, moving – for example a walk in the fresh air – and going to bed at fixed times where possible help the alarm system settle again. Be restrained with alcohol and caffeine. Alcohol may calm you briefly, but it disturbs sleep and can quickly become a habit used to “push down” feelings.

Structure gives stability. Gradually take up familiar routines such as breakfast, work, shopping or hobbies again, even if they feel like hard work at first. Postpone big decisions – moving house, quitting a job, ending a relationship – where possible until your head is clearer. Breaks are allowed; forcing yourself to keep “functioning” usually makes things worse.

People are the most important protection. Spending time with people you trust does you good, even without talking about the event. Talk if you want to – silence is just as fine. Looking at pictures and videos of the event again and again, on the other hand, keeps the alarm awake; keeping a deliberate distance helps here.

Only professionals can judge whether a reaction should be treated – this text does not make a diagnosis. But there are clear signs that outside support makes sense: if symptoms do not ease over several weeks, if they get stronger, if work, school or relationships suffer badly, or if alcohol, medication or drugs seem necessary to get through the day.

Good first points of contact are your family doctor, counselling services, mental health professionals or local crisis and helplines. After larger events, many relief organisations and authorities also offer their own counselling services. Getting help is not failure but a sensible step – just as you would see a doctor with a broken arm.

You must act immediately in case of thoughts of suicide or self-harm, danger to others, or if someone completely loses control. Then call the local emergency number (112 in the EU) or a local crisis line and do not leave the person alone.

If someone close to you has been through something terrible, practical help is often what helps most: shopping, cooking, collecting the children, coming along to appointments with authorities. Being there and listening is worth more than clever advice. Phrases like “Pull yourself together” or “That was ages ago” tend to hurt.

Do not push anyone to talk. Some people want to talk straight away, others only much later or never in detail. Both are fine. But watch for warning signs such as strong withdrawal, increasing drinking or hopelessness, and mention them gently.

Emergency workers, volunteers and relatives supporting someone can be affected themselves too. Breaks, team debriefs and people of their own to talk to are therefore part of it. Those who look after themselves well can support others for longer.

International guidelines such as those of the IASC and the WHO guide on psychological first aid assume that many people cope after crises with support from those around them. Some, however, need further professional help. Both are normal, and nobody needs to know in advance which group they belong to.

Recovery rarely runs in a straight line. An anniversary, a smell, a sound or news about a similar event can suddenly bring feelings back, even when things had already got better. That is not a relapse to zero; for many people it is part of the process. It helps to plan for such days in advance and not to spend them alone.