STOP: from shock to the next step in seconds

Panic pushes you to act fast. That is why lost people often keep walking and get even more lost, or why people drive into a flooded street although they know better. The deliberate stop interrupts that urge. Even the word “Stop”, said aloud or to yourself, draws a line between the shock and what you do next.

Breathing out slowly and for longer and looking at concrete things around you help many people think more clearly again. When you name five things you can see and a few you can hear, your brain has to deal with the real surroundings instead of the frightening pictures in your head. This is also called “grounding” – mentally, you come back down to earth.

Then come three thinking steps: what is the biggest danger right now? What can I see and what do I have? And what is the next small step? The plan is kept deliberately tiny. One small, doable step gives back the feeling of being able to act – and that often calms more than any good intention.

Breathe calmly, not deeply and “pumping”. People who breathe very fast and deep in panic often feel dizzy and get tingling in their hands or lips. Better: calmly in through the nose and out longer and slowly through the mouth – as if you were gently making a candle flicker without blowing it out. A few such breaths are enough.

Simple questions help with thinking: what do I know for sure, what am I only assuming? What have I already done right? Who knows where I am? How much battery, water and daylight do I have left? When observing, everything counts: weather, time of day, people nearby, equipment. You often discover options that were lost in tunnel vision before.

Say the next step aloud and then do it: “I am calling the emergency number now.” “We stay here and put our jackets on.” Then the sequence starts again. The most common mistake is skipping the stop “because there is no time”. Usually there are a minute or two – and they are well spent.

STOP fits many situations in which the first shock is big but nothing has to happen immediately: when you are lost, the car has broken down, the power fails, bad news arrives or a quarrel flares up in the group. A short stop is also helpful before important decisions under pressure.

STOP is not suitable in immediate danger. With fire, smoke, gas, rising water or an approaching vehicle: first get away from the danger, then call the emergency number, then pause. Nor does the exercise replace treatment if someone has panic attacks again and again – then medical or psychotherapeutic advice is important.

STOP does not work for everyone or equally well every time. That is not failure. If you don't feel calmer after the first round, simply start again from the beginning or ask someone for help.

The most important rule comes before everything else: in real danger, don't stand still. First get to safety, then call the emergency number (112 in the EU), only then calm down.

If breathlessness, chest pain, light-headedness or dizziness do not ease despite calm breathing, there may be a physical cause. Then don't keep “practising” – call the emergency number. This applies especially if someone has known heart or lung problems.

If you are calming someone else: speak slowly and calmly, get down to eye level, breathe out audibly and slowly so the other person can join in, and give simple instructions (“Sit down here. Let's breathe out together.”). If someone talks about harming themselves or loses control completely: call the local emergency number or a local crisis line and do not leave the person alone.

Under stress you only remember what you have practised before. That is why it is worth running through STOP a few times in calm moments – for example in the evening on the sofa or while waiting for the bus. Say the steps to yourself, breathe out slowly a few times and count five things you can see.

With children this works well as a game: who can find five red things? Who can hear three different sounds? That way they learn along the way that you can “bring yourself back” when you are afraid. On hikes you can practise together: “Imagine we were lost. What do we do first?”

The STOP rule comes from outdoor and survival training and is meant to help lost people avoid walking on blindly. Guides such as the WHO's “Doing What Matters in Times of Stress” describe similar elements: pausing, paying attention to the body and surroundings, and then turning to what matters right now.