Dealing with loneliness in isolation

Loneliness is a signal, similar to hunger or thirst: it shows that a need is not being met – the need for connection with others. Being alone and feeling lonely are not the same thing. Some people like being alone and do not feel lonely; others feel abandoned in the middle of a crowd.

Social connectedness is an important protective factor after distressing events. In a crisis, though, exactly the things that usually connect people often disappear: work, school, clubs, visits. At the same time there are more worries and fewer distractions. Brooding increases, and the day loses its shape.

If loneliness lasts a long time, it can lower your mood and make sleep and coping harder. That is why it is worth not leaving contact to chance but planning it deliberately – especially when you do not feel like it.

Regularity beats length. Agree fixed, short contacts: a daily call, a message at a set time or an “I’m OK” to a trusted person. This gives both sides security – and if the message is ever missing, it gets noticed.

Doing something for others helps you too. Call a neighbour, coordinate shopping for several households or listen to someone who is worse off. Being needed makes you feel less alone. Many people withdraw “so as not to burden anyone” – yet most people are glad to be asked.

Small rituals give the day structure: breakfast at the same time, an evening walk (if permitted and safe), a journal, a fixed time for a hobby. Active occupation usually helps more than hours of passive television or scrolling.

If power, phone or internet fail, you need simple methods. A contact list on paper is the foundation. With neighbours you can exchange notes or letters, or agree on a sign in the window – such as a card placed in the window each morning that means “all is well”.

A battery radio brings not only news but also voices and music into the home. Listening to the radio together with neighbours, talking across the balcony or through a closed door are possible even when meeting in person is not allowed or not safe. Follow the health rules that apply, for example during a quarantine.

In quarantine or illness, a fixed daily structure with contact times helps, even when you feel weak. People who live alone or belong to a risk group benefit especially from contact chains agreed before a crisis: who checks in with whom, and what happens if someone does not get in touch?

In remote places – snowed in at a cabin, for example, or in a village without connections – it makes sense to agree fixed check-in times with someone outside while there is still a connection. That way someone knows when to worry and get help.

These tips are not a treatment for depression. If for a longer time you hardly feel any joy, no longer want to get up, barely eat, feel persistently hopeless or daily life paralyses you, professional help makes sense. Points of contact are your family doctor, counselling services, mental health professionals and local crisis and helplines – many of them can also be reached by phone or online.

With thoughts of suicide or self-harm, danger to others or if someone completely loses control, immediately call the local emergency number (112 in the EU) or a local crisis line and do not leave the person alone. This also applies when you are worried about someone else.