Coping with long waiting and boredom

Waiting wears you down mainly because there is little you can influence. Uncertainty and the feeling of having lost control amplify stress. Without tasks the mind has plenty of time to picture worries – and worries grow the longer you dwell on them. This is called brooding: the same thoughts go round in circles without leading to a solution.

Structure and small, achievable tasks give back a piece of control. They shift attention from brooding to what you can influence yourself. Every completed task – even a tiny one – is a small proof: I am not helpless.

Guidelines on psychosocial support in emergencies stress that routines, activity and the feeling of being able to contribute support coping. The WHO booklet “Doing What Matters in Times of Stress” describes simple exercises for turning deliberately to the here and now and to meaningful activities.

Divide the day: fixed times for meals, sleep, tasks and information – even if they seem arbitrary. It doesn't matter whether breakfast is at eight or nine; what matters is that there is a rhythm. Don't abandon your sleep rhythm, even if nothing is planned for the morning.

Hand out small tasks: counting supplies, rationing water, keeping notes, tidying the sleeping area or camp, preparing signals. Check news and radio at fixed times rather than constantly – that saves battery and nerves. In the evening a short daily review helps: what did we manage today? What is planned for tomorrow?

Activity is not a luxury. Conversation, card or word games, reading, storytelling or keeping a diary keep spirits up. Include children – they can invent games, tell stories or take on small tasks. That is why a notebook and a few comfort items for children make sense in emergency luggage too.

Gentle movement is good for body and mind: stretching, circling arms and legs, short walks in a safe area. It helps against stiff limbs and restlessness, and often makes you sleepier in the evening.

But movement costs energy, and in some situations energy is scarce. If you are snowed in or without heating, you have to weigh it up: light movement can warm you, but heavy sweating makes clothes damp, and damp clothes chill you. If food is scarce, a lot of movement uses up extra supplies.

The rule of thumb: enough movement to feel better, but not so much that you start sweating or exhaust yourself. And only ever in a safe area – so no exploring trips into unsafe terrain, onto frozen surfaces or into damaged buildings.

Boredom tempts people into unnecessary risks: “I'll just check whether the road is clear”, “I'll pop over to the river”. Impatient setting off in particular is more dangerous than waiting in many situations. So clarify in advance whether and when waiting is safer than leaving – for example if rescue has been informed or the authorities say to stay put.

Activity must not cost warmth and supplies that will be missing later. If you are cold, put energy into warmth – blankets, clothing, huddling together – rather than activity. The same applies to light and battery: better to be sparing and planned.

Waiting is exhausting, but it is not an illness. If someone seems hopeless for a long time, withdraws completely or talks about not wanting to live any more, however, they need more than activity: then call the local emergency number (112 in the EU) or a local crisis line and do not leave the person alone.

Waiting alone is often especially hard, because there is nobody to distract you or share your worries. Here it helps to plan aloud – yes, really to talk to yourself out loud. It puts your thoughts in order and turns a feeling into a plan.

Keep notes: time, weather, what you have done, what you still plan to do. Break bigger tasks into small steps and consciously acknowledge each completed step (“Water is rationed – well done”). That sounds trivial but strengthens the feeling of having the situation under control.

If communication is possible, agree fixed contact times with relatives or neighbours. A short call or message at a fixed time gives the day an anchor point and protects against the feeling of being completely alone.