Keeping hope: small goals and milestones

Hope does not come from wishful thinking but from experience. Anyone who experiences that their own steps change something dares to take the next step too. In psychology, this confidence in your own abilities is called self-efficacy. Small, achievable goals provide this experience regularly – like stairs you climb one after another.

Big, distant goals (“rebuild our house”, “get to the hut in the valley”) are important as a direction. But during long periods of strain they often feel crushing, because progress is hardly visible. Sub-goals for a few hours or a day make progress tangible and keep providing small experiences of success.

In a widely cited review by Hobfoll and colleagues (2007), promoting hope is one of the five core elements of early support after disasters – alongside safety, calming, self-efficacy and connectedness. The tips here are meant for everyday practice and are not a clinical method.

Start with honesty. Say what is going on – including the hard parts. Hope built on sugar-coating collapses at the first setback. “Our cellar is full of water, and this will take weeks” is a better starting point than “It'll all be fine again tomorrow”.

Then separate: what can I or we influence, and what not? The weather, the authorities' decisions or how long the power cut lasts are out of your hands. How you keep warm, how you plan the day and how you treat each other are within them. Direct your energy to that area.

Set small, concrete goals and make progress visible: tick things off, write them down, briefly acknowledge together what has been achieved. Remember what you are persevering for – family, friends, plans – and consciously allow small pleasures: a warm cup, a joke, a ray of sunshine. That is not frivolous; it is a source of strength.

Good sub-goals are small, concrete and achievable within a manageable time. “Water treated by noon” is good; “get everything back in order” is not. A goal should be worded so that at the end you can say clearly: done, or not yet.

Adjust goals to your strength. After a sleepless night or when very exhausted, the day's goal may be very small – even “eat something warm today and call a friend” counts. In groups, give each person a task they can manage, so that everyone experiences success, not just the strongest.

Setbacks are part of it. If a goal doesn't work out, that is not failure but information: perhaps the goal was too big or the situation has changed. Then you set a smaller or different goal and carry on.

Goals must not push you into risky decisions. Anyone who has resolved to reach “the hut today” is tempted to continue despite a thunderstorm, darkness or exhaustion. Here it helps always to link goals to a condition: “… if the weather holds.” Turning back or waiting is then not a missed goal but a wise decision.

Avoid unrealistic promises such as “It'll all be over tomorrow” – to yourself and to others, especially children. When the promise breaks, trust often goes with it.

Small goals help little with severe exhaustion or depression. If someone has felt hopeless for weeks, has hardly any drive left or says they no longer want to live, that is not a case for motivational tips. Then seek professional help – in acute danger immediately via the local emergency number (112 in the EU) or a local crisis line – and do not leave the person alone.

On a long walk: divide the route into sections – to the bridge, to the edge of the forest, to the next break. Celebrate each section reached briefly with a sip of water or a snack bar. This keeps the group together and the pace steady.

When rebuilding after a disaster: the mountain of work can be paralysing. A list of small tasks for each day – filling in a form, clearing out a room, a call to the insurer – makes it manageable. After a few days the list shows how much has already been done.

In a group with falling morale: agree shared milestones and acknowledge successes briefly and honestly (“Everyone slept warm today”). Goals reached together strengthen not only hope but also cohesion.