Emergency planning for single parents

Most emergency plans quietly assume that two adults are present: one deals with the problem, the other with the children. In a household with only one adult, there is no such division of labour. So a good plan must work even if that very adult is out of action.

The way to get there is to spread knowledge in advance. The backup knows the children's routines, health and documents. The children know the backup and know how to call for help. And the school or childcare centre knows in writing that the backup may collect the children. That way, in an emergency, everything does not depend on a single head.

Ideally there are two backups: one nearby who can be there quickly, and one outside the region. In a large event such as a flood, the backup in the neighbourhood may be affected too; then the second steps in or at least keeps contact.

Agreements made only verbally often help little when it counts. Register the backup in writing at school and childcare as authorised to collect the children. Give them an emergency sheet with allergies, medication, doctors and the children's most important routines, a written consent letter and copies of important documents. Also agree how the backup gets into the home – for example via a key left with someone.

Think of yourself too. If you have an accident while out, the helpers do not know that children are waiting for you at home. A note in your wallet – “I am a single parent. Please inform: …” with the backup's name and number – makes sure the children are not forgotten. Many smartphones also let you store emergency contacts so they are visible even when the screen is locked.

Powers of attorney and custody matters are regulated differently from country to country. For legally binding arrangements, such as who would care for the children long-term in the worst case, get professional advice. This entry does not replace legal advice.

Children can learn early to get help. Practise in an age-appropriate, playful way: dialling the emergency number (with a switched-off phone or a toy phone), saying their address, knowing the backup's number and knowing where the emergency card is. The real number is never actually called for practice. For younger children the address can be easier to remember as a rhyme or song.

Explain the most important rule calmly and without drama: “If I ever fall over and stop answering, you call 112. You say where we live and what happened. Then you open the door so the helpers can come in.” Children need to know that they are allowed to do this and will never get into trouble for it. The people at the dispatch centre are kind and help children step by step too.

Repeat the conversation now and then, for example as the child gets older or when you move. If the child also knows the backup well in everyday life, for example through regular visits, a switch in an emergency is much easier for them.

Not every single parent has relatives nearby. A good solution is a mutual arrangement with other parents: I am your backup, you are mine. The same rules apply as for any backup – in writing, with an emergency sheet and pick-up authorisation.

Make sure not all backups can be affected by the same event. If everyone lives in the same building or works in the same place, they might all be out of action at once in an emergency. A mix of near and far makes the plan more robust.